Today I had an experience that was unique in my 50-plus years of eating Chinese food. I cracked open the fortune cookie and found this:
<smiley face> God will help you overcome any hardship. <smiley face>
Now, I have received moralizing fortunes (“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”), sententious fortunes (“Morality is truth in full bloom”) , flattering fortunes (“You are an exciting and inspiring person”), non sequitur fortunes (“The job is well done”), and even a propos fortunes (“May you have a good appetite!”). Sometimes I have even received actual fortunes (“A thrilling time is in your immediate future”).
I’ve been offered ethical advice (“There are many ways you can be hurtful, but only one way to heal. That is through love”) and many pep talks (“The best angle from which to approach any problem is the TRYangle”). My all-time favorite may be this one: “Time flies. Suns rise and shadows fall. Let time go by. Love is forever over all.”
As you may infer, I make a habit of keeping these little strips of paper. If I learned all the Chinese language lessons and played all the lottery numbers on the other sides, I’d be a inveterate bilingual gambler today.
But! I have never, ever, been quite so preached at in a fortune cookie fortune! None of them have ever purported to bring me the word of you-know-who! And what a promise – any hardship overcome!
I hope this isn’t a trend. I really don’t need God making promises with my dessert. I could go to religious services or tune in to AM radio for that. I want to be amused and entertained – maybe even touched – by my fortunes. Is that too much to ask of a little slip of paper?
